Naruto Talent Show
by ThtAsianGuy
Summary: Introducing the annual Hidden Leaf Talent Show! Starring your judges, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru! Who will win this year! Read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Naruto Talent Show

Naruto Talent Show

Orochimaru woke up with a yawn. "Um… Lord Orochimaru… you have an invitation." said a messenger, very

scared. Orochimaru killed the man with a wave of his hand. He picked up the invite. "Lord Orochimaru, you are here by

invited to your birthday party." he read to himself, "They remembered! Your party is being held at the Hidden Leaf village

auditorium!" he quickly got dressed and started rushing to the Leaf village. When he got there, he killed the two ninjas at

the doorway and kept running. People screamed in terror at the sight of him. He was just grinning REAL big as he ran. He

stopped at the auditorium doors and practiced his surprised face expressions. He burst open the doors waiting for a

"happy birthday!" But he heard nothing. He opened his eyes and saw his old teammates, Jiraiya and Tsunade, sitting at a

long table with one chair empty. "Got ya!" yelled Jiraiya.

"Why can't you just tell me, 'You're going to a judge! Come to the village!', instead of lying to me?" said

Orochimaru, sitting in the empty seat. "Because you won't come. Now quit whining!" yelled Tsunade. Orochimaru grumbled

to himself. "You should have seen it coming! We did the exact same thing last year!" said Jiraiya, laughing. "Woman, I kill

you!" yelled Orochimaru. They were about to pull out kunai, until a ninja on the stage said, "Um… we're ready to start…"

Orochimaru threw a kunai at him, and he died (obviously). "Would you stop that?! Whenever you get mad, you just kill

people! Just calm down!" yelled Tsunade. Orochimaru was quiet.

"First up, we have TenTen!" said a new ninja. TenTen walked onto the stage. The judges groaned. "What?!

What's wrong?!" said TenTen. "You do the same stupid thing EVERY year! You bring out your scrolls and throw a bunch of

weapons, which people will dodge easily." said Orochimaru, with his head down. "Please… do something different." said

Tsunade. TenTen was near tears. "Hey hey, don't cry! Just do your act." said Jiraiya. "But that's all I do!!" yelled TenTen,

crying. The other two judges glared at Orochimaru. "What?" "You made her cry!" Orochimaru shrugged. Neji jumped on the

stage. "Don't listen to them! Do what your heart desires!" said Neji, proudly. TenTen's eyes sparkled. "I WILL!" she yelled,

spinning out her scroll. The judges gasped. They ducked under their table to avoid being killed. "NEXT, NEXT!" yelled

Orochimaru. TenTen stopped and started slumping away with Neji. "Don't you have an act?" asked Jiraiya, to Neji. "I was

banned due to last year." said Neji, sadly. "Oh yeah, '64 palm'. It was only actually 61 palms. Right, Neji?" said Tsunade. "I

promise! That will be the only time I'll cheat!!" begged Neji. "Sit down with your 'girlfriend'." said Orochimaru. They sat and

put their heads down.

"Up next, Hinata!" said the ninja. Hinata slowly walked onto the stage. She screamed, ducked, and barely

dodged a shuriken. The judges turned to see Neji with his arm outstretched. "Dang it! Missed." said Neji. "So, what's your

talent?" asked Orochimaru, undisturbed. "And don't chicken out like last year." said Jiraiya. "Shut up! All right, show us

what you've got." said Tsunade. Hinata closed her eyes. After ten minutes, judges were getting bored. Suddenly, Shino

pulls out two large boxes with square holes in them. Hinata opened her eyes and activated her Byakugan. Kunai started

flying out of the boxes. Hinata started blocking them all. Judges started clapping, until one kunai hit Hinata's hand. "Crap!

My hand!" yelled Hinata. But the kunai kept coming, so Hinata had to dodge them all. "TURN IT OFF!!" yelled Hinata, pissed.

Shino said, "Oh.", and stopped the machines. She fell over exhausted. "You're in." said Tsunade. Hinata raised her hands.

"Yay."

"Our next act and final act for the day is Rock Lee!" said the ninja. Rock Lee jumped out and did a triple

backflip. "I'm ready!" yelled Rock Lee. "What will you do?" asked Orochimaru, bored. "I will be break this log with ONE

punch!" yelled Lee. Guy Sensei brought out the log. "SHOW THEM WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF!!" yelled Guy, proudly. Lee

nodded, his eyes sparkling. Lee jumped in the air and drove his fist into the log. It didn't budge. Lee stood there. "Let me

try again!!" Guy brought in another log. Lee punched it, and no results. "Wait, wait!! Let me try again!!"

_5 hours later…_

The judges yawned. Lee panted. "WHY WON'T YOU BREAK!!" yelled Lee. Lee wrapped his hand straps around

the log and started spinning in the air. "PRIMARY LOTUS!!" he yelled, bringing the log down. The log split in two. "Fine,

you're in. I'm going home." said Orochimaru, getting up. The other two judges left. Lee sat there celebrating.

**This is only Day 1! Many more acts to come!! Keep reading!! Review!! Oh… If there's someone you want to be judged, email me!**


	2. Chapter 2

Day 2

**Day 2**

Orochimaru walked in the auditorium. Jiraiya glared at him. "Man, you're late!" he yelled. "Woman, I'm tired! Don't

nag me!" said Orochimaru, annoyed. They were about to fight again, until Tsunade socked them both in the face. "Let's

just get this over with." said Tsunade. "First up, Kiba and his amazing puppy, Akumaru!" said the ninja on stage. Kiba

walked onto the stage in a ringmaster's outfit. He started, "Hello every-!" "Gay! Next!" yelled Orochimaru. "Wait! Let me

finish!!"

said Kiba. "Akumaru, come on out!" Akumaru walked out, proudly. "My amazing dog will jump through this hoop!!" Kiba

pulled out a hoop. Akumaru jumped through it easily. "Ta-da!" said Kiba, happily. Jiraiya clapped his hands lightly. "Next!"

yelled Orochimaru and Tsunade, together. They walked off the stage, sadly.

"Up next, Sasuke!!" said the ninja. Sasuke walked onto the stage, coolly. "What's your talent?" asked Jiraiya.

"And make sure it isn't as bad as last year." said Tsunade. _"What's your talent" asked Jiraiya. "I like making myself bleed." _

_said Sasuke, pulling out a kunai. The judges threw up that day._ "Look, that was a phase!" protested Sasuke. "Emo is not a

phase!" said Orochimaru. "Whatever, phoenix flower jutsu!" said Sasuke, and fire flared out of his mouth and brought

down the curtains. The judges stood. "Made you stand up, didn't I?" said Sasuke, proud of himself. "Your pants are on fire."

said Tsunade. Sasuke screamed and started rolling on the stage. "Don't worry, you're in the competition." said Orochimaru.

"Yahoo!" said Sasuke, and kept rolling.

"Our next act is Ino!" said the ninja. She ran on the stage. "I can get in the show, just by sitting here." she said.

"How do you suppose you do that?" asked Orochimaru, with a raised eyebrow. "Mind transfer jutsu!" she yelled and fell

over. She took over Orochimaru's head. "I love this girl!! Put her in! Put her in! Put her in! Come on, say it with me!" yelled

Orochimaru. The other two judges shook their heads. Ino suddenly got her mind back. "Do you think that petty jutsu would

work on me?!" yelled Orochimaru. "Disqualified!" Ino walked off sadly.

"I'm getting bored." said Orochimaru. "Same here, can we get a pizza or something?" asked Jiraiya. "Quit whining!"

yelled Tsunade. "Up next, Sakura!" said the ninja. Sakura walked onto the stage. She wore a magician's hat. "I'll be doing

magic tricks! Tsunade, lift your right foot!" said Sakura. Tsunade shrugged. She lifted her foot. An invisible string was

pulled. Two logs came out of nowhere. They all ducked and nearly dodged the smashing logs. "What the crap?!" yelled

Tsunade. "I've set traps everywhere around your table, like in the forest of death!" she said, happily. Orochimaru twitched

his hand and fifty kunai went flying at him. "Ep!" he yelled. He ducked under the table. The other two judges laughed. Then

they heard beeping. They looked under the table and saw two bombs under their table. They were sound activated. They

started to run, but it was too late. BOOM! The judges went flying. "Is…cough… that it?" asked Orochimaru. "Yep!" said

Sakura. "Even though it was very painful, you're in." said Tsunade. She jumped in the air and cheered.

"Our final act of the day is Naruto!" said the ninja. Naruto jumped out onto the stage. "Good! You saved the best

for last!" yelled Naruto. "Please, do something different." said Tsunade. "All right!" yelled Naruto, "MULTI shadow clone

jutsu!" The room was filled with Naruto clones. "That's not what I meant!" yelled Tsunade. "This is your fault!" yelled a

Naruto clone. "Whatever!" another clone yelled. Suddenly, a big fight started. After an hour, the real Naruto stood,

completely beat up. "I have to admit, that was entertaining. You're in!" said Orochimaru. Naruto cheered.

The three judges walked out. "So we have our uh… 5 contestants (email me if I got it wrong)." said Jiraiya. "I

hated the auditions, I'm gonna hate the real thing." said Orochimaru. "Perk up, we have till tomorrow to relax. Let's get a

wine or something." said Tsunade. "Sorry, I have to get home or I get stoned by locals." said Orochimaru. They walked out

of the auditorium.

* * *

**Sorry the chapter wasn't as long as before. That's the end of the try outs! The real Competition is next!!**


	3. Chapter 3

Day 3

**Day 3**

"Great, the real thing is here." said Orochimaru, sarcastically. "Lighten up! Maybe it'll be better this year!" said Jiraiya. "After

Sakura's act, I've been cautious about everything." said Orochimaru. "Shut the heck up!" yelled Jiraiya, "You're such a

whiner!" "Don't call me a whiner, woman!" yelled Orochimaru. "Quit calling me a woman!" protested Jiraiya. "Hey, guys!

We've been live." said the ninja host. The two judges looked at the host. "For how long?" "The whole time." They shut up

after that.

All five of the contestants stood in line. The following were Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, and Rock Lee. "You all managed

to get through the auditions, and I bet you're all feeling pretty important, huh?" said Orochimaru. Everyone nodded. "Well,

you're not. You're all the same pathetic losers you were before you entered the competition." Everyone got pretty sad.

"This is the first part of the competition. Before you begin, we will give you coaches." said Tsunade. "They've all been

chosen for you randomly." said Jiraiya. The coaches all came out. They were mostly sensai, except for one. "Why is Neji a

coach?!" protested Naruto. "Well, he kept whining about the auditions, so we made him a coach." said Orochimaru.

"Naruto, you have Iruka." said Jiraiya. "All right!! I've got this competition in the bag!!" yelled Naruto. "Sasuke, you have

Kakashi." said Tsunade. "What are the odds?" said Sasuke, bored. "Rock Lee, you have Guy." said Orochimaru.

"MUHAHAHA!!" laughed Lee. "Hinata, you have Neji." said Jiraiya, with a chuckle. Hinata fainted. There was no one left.

"Hey!! What about me?!"

yelled Sakura. "Oh yeah… we couldn't find anyone who wanted to coach you, so we'll give you this rock." said Tsunade. She

tossed it to her. "What do I do with this?!" yelled Sakura. "You can throw it at people." said Tsunade, shrugging. "Are you

sure this is random?" asked Naruto. "Yes…………… no." said Orochimaru. "Now go and get to know your coaches!" said

Jiraiya, happily. They were silent. "But we know these guys." said Sasuke. "Your challenge is in an hour!" said Jiraiya.

After a LOT of talking and planning, the five came to the stage. "Hello…… are you ready?" asked Jiraiya. No answer. "Okay,

you have to go through this obstacle course." said Jiraiya. Everyone looked around. "Where?" asked Lee. Orochimaru

pulled a rope, which opened the curtain. It was just a long narrow boardwalk. "That's it?" said Sasuke. "Oh yeah, Sakura.

We borrow some of your _traps._" said Tsunade. Everyone shuddered. "Line up at the starting point." said Tsunade.

Everyone was as ready as could be. Iruka was massaging Naruto (??). Kakashi was reading his _**book**_. Guy was giving Lee

pep talk. Sakura was polishing her rook. Neji was continuously texting Hinata treading messages. _You're gonna die. _That

was a recent one. "Take your mark," said Jiraiya. "Get set," said Orochimaru, "Goat!" yelled Tsunade. Lee burst forward.

"Disqualified." said Orochimaru. Lee started bawling. "He's kidding, right?" said Tsunade. "I'm getting a pizza." said

Orochimaru, leaving. "Go!!" yelled Jiraiya. Everyone ran forward. Sasuke was first, but pulled a trap first. He hit a trip wire

and a bucket, which was placed above him, dumped leeches on him. "Ay-ay-ay!!" yelled Sasuke, but kept on trucking.

Naruto was trailing behind. He got the second trap. He stepped on bad piece of wood, and he fell in what seemed to be a

bottomless pit. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!!" he yelled, and a clone popped out. The clone grabbed Naruto and slung him to the

top. Naruto survived.

Hinata and Lee were neck-to-neck. They got the third trap. They both hit a trip wire which released a bunch of rolling logs at

them. They started to jump over them easily. Suddenly, Neji pulled out a mirror and shined a light at Hinata's eyes. She

squinted and didn't see the log, which smashed her. Neji smiled. Sakura saw this and got mad. She got her rock and threw

it right below the tummy. "#&#!!" He screamed. Sakura was last. Sasuke was first. Sasuke got another trap. Two logs

almost smashed his head. Naruto laughed, and then the logs broke off its strings and rolled into Naruto. Sasuke laughed,

but fell over due to leeches sucking WAY too much blood from him. Lee was first. He was about to cross the finish line, when

the floor collapsed. Sakura jumped over the ditch and crossed the finish line. "Sakura wins!" said Jiraiya. Orochimaru came

back with a large pepperoni pizza. The two judges glared at him. "Want some?" he asked.

The five contestants stood there, very tired, except for Sakura. "That's not fair! Those were her traps!" protested Naruto. "I

really don't care!" said Orochimaru. "It's pretty much obvious who's out. Hinata, get out of here." said Jiraiya. She shrugged

and started walking. The rest of the contestants patted her on the back. Neji chuckled. The remaining four glared at him.

"Be here tomorrow for the second challenge." said Tsunade. The contestants left. Naruto walked up to Sakura. "Hey! Could

you do a favor for me?" Later that day, Neji pulled out his keys to get into his house. What he didn't know was that his

house has been remodeled, Sakura style.

**Sorry it took a while! My dad hogged the computer. Please Review and get ready for Day 4!**


	4. Chapter 4

Day 4

Day 4

"I'm tired of this." said Orochimaru. "Will you ever shut up?!" yelled Jiraiya. The judges were waiting for the remaining four

contestants. After an hour of waiting and Orochimaru and Jiraiya's bickering, the contestants finally came. "What took you

so long?" asked Orochimaru. Sakura was about to answer, until Orochimaru said, "I really don't care. We have a surprise for

you." Lee did a backflip. "Yay!" There was silence. He stayed quiet. "Because there's only four people in this competition, we

got three people that were really bored and agreed to be in the show." said Jiraiya. Suddenly the doors opened, and in

came Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro. "I can't believe the Hidden Leaf Village invited us over for pizza and a movie!" said

Gaara, excitingly. They all saw the judges and the stage, then they groaned. "I hate it when people do this!!" yelled

Kankuro. "I thought you said they agreed to do this!!" yelled Naruto. "Oh yeah… we lied." said Orochimaru, shrugging.

"Now that we all know each other, let's all talk about-." Orochimaru was interrupted by Naruto, "How come the sand ninja

get to be in the competition? They have no talents!" Orochimaru was about to pounce, when Tsunade sprayed him with

Lysol. He hissed and backed off. "If you want to see their talents, then fine. Show them what you've got." said Jiraiya.

Gaara stepped forward. Sand poured out of his jar. "I can juggle sand with my eyes closed and no hands or feet." he said,

bored. The sand split into ten balls and started circling around. "Gay." said Naruto. Gaara growled. "I agree with the idiot,

gay." said Orochimaru. "Gay." said Tsunade and Jiraiya. Gaara slouched and walked off.

Kankuro stepped up to the plate. He pulled out his freaky dummy that he loves so much and unwrapped it. He put a top hat

on himself and the dummy. Then he did the stupidest thing ever, he and the dummy started dancing. You know, that high

kicking dance with the music, "Hello my baby, hello my honey, etc., etc." Everyone just started in awe. When he finished, he

stood there, sweating. "Gayer." said Naruto. Everyone nodded in agreement. Kankuro started sobbing to himself. Temari

walked forward. "Go ahead." said Orochimaru. Temari pulled out her giant fan and started doing a fan dance. Every male in

the room stared. All their eyes bulged at the sight of her dance (even Sasuke!). Sakura rolled her eyes. When she finished,

all the boys clapped their hands and screamed, "Encore!!" She blushed and walked back to her position. At the window,

Shikamaru watched the whole thing. Then he started adding all of the boys to his hit list.

"Now that we got that settled," started Jiraiya, still panting from Temari's act, "Let's get onto your challenge." "You will be

painting pictures with paint." said Orochimaru, "Isn't that delightful?" The contestants groaned. "But there's a catch." said

Tsunade. "You get no brushes, no paper, and no paint." said Jiraiya. "So how are we supposed to do this?!" yelled Lee. The

judges shrugged. "Figure it out." said Orochimaru. "You have till... hmm… five minutes till now and you can't leave this

building. Everyone started scrambling. People ripped off their shirts and used it as paper. Some used snot as paint. It was a

rampage. "So…… how was yall's afternoon?" asked Orochimaru. "Do you not care about these children?!" yelled Jiraiya. "Not

really." "You're so selfish!" "Woman, you don't call me selfish!" "Quit calling me a woman!!" "I can call you whatever I

want!! Woman!" "TIME'S UP!!" screamed Tsunade.

"They're all terrible." said Orochimaru. Naruto's picture was made of some of his shirt. He used ear wax. The picture was a

house. The rest were also houses, because it was the simplest thing. Except for Kenkuro. He was filing his nails. "I ain't

doing that." Of course, he was sent home. "You've all survived today!" said Jiraiya. "I'm outta here." said Orochimaru. He

walked out the building. Suddenly, he got pelted with rocks. "I didn't do anything!!" He said, and ran off.

**Yes, I know, I wrapped that up pretty quickly. My bad. I ran out of time. Sorry it wasn't as good as the others. Just get ready for Day 5!! It'll be better!!**


	5. Chapter 5

Day 5

Day 5

"Ready for today." said Orochimaru. The remaining six contestants were listening to the judges. "We decided to add

another judge, because of viewer complaints of Orochimaru." said Jiraiya. Orochimaru rolled his eyes. "It'll be different

everyday." said Tsunade. "Wait a minute! What do you mean 'viewers'?" yelled Naruto. "Oh…" said Jiraiya, and slapped

Orochimaru in the head. "Why'd you tell them?!" yelled Jiraiya. "First of all, YOU told them. Second of all, you don't slap me

woman!!" yelled Orochimaru. "What viewers?!" said Sakura. "We've been secretly broadcasting this show right after Fox 5

news at 10." said Tsunade. She banged Orochimaru's and Jiraiya's heads together. That shut them up.

"So who's supposed to be our judge today?" asked Sasuke. "I was about to get to that," said Orochimaru, still rubbing his

forehead. "She should be aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyy-." started Jiraiya, but was interrupted by the door opining.

Ino stepped in. "Hey yall!" she said in an annoying way. She took her seat next to the judges. She started down Sakura

and did an evil grin. _You're going down. _Her stare said. _Bring it on!!_ Sakura's stare said. Her Inner Sakura was flaring up.

"Today's challenge is a good one, unlike yesterday's, it's a beauty competition!" said Tsunade, happily. All the boys

groaned. Temari and Sakura giggled like little girls (cuz they are… little girls… duh…). "Who even came up with the stupid

challenge yesterday?!" said Naruto. Orochimaru and Tsunade glared at Jiraiya, as he slipped under the table. "Anyway, you

have an hour to prepare." said Orochimaru. The contestants left.

Naruto and Iruka sat the ramen shop. "What am I going to do?! I don't care about my appearance!!" said Naruto, griping.

"Come on, Naruto!! You can't give up now! 100 push-ups!! For trying to give up!!" yelled Iruka. Naruto started his endless

push-ups. Gaara and Temari were strategizing. "Look, if we want to win this competition for the sand village, we have to

make an alliance." said Gaara. "You know, people always do this in reality shows and end up breaking the alliance and

ditching the other person." said Temari. "Uh… I wasn't going to that." said Gaara, changing his entire game plan.

Sakura was trying on every dress she had. She was humming a little tune to herself. "La la la la la-. Ooo! This one's good!"

She put her frilly dress on a hanger and walked out the door. From the window, Ino was watching and rubbing her hands

together evilly. "You're going down." she said to herself. Lee was watching from another window, with his eyes glistening.

Sasuke wore what he usually wore.

Finally the hour was up. All the contestants were standing on stage. Everyone wore what they usually wore, except for

Sakura and Temari. "I see that only two of you actually cared about this challenge." said Tsunade. "The ones that are

wearing nothing special, get off the stage. It's a catfight, I guess." said Orochimaru. The girls were furious. "How come

they're safe?!" yelled Sakura. "They're all wearing the usual, so we can't kick them all out, so it's between you two." said

Jiraiya. Sakura and Temari glared at each other. _She's going down!_ They both were thinking.

"Oh, we have a couple of surprises for you," started Orochimaru, "First, the boys that didn't participate get to vote for who

they want to win. Second, everything that we're filming," Orochimaru pointed to the camera guy, who just waved. "Is live."

The two girls shrugged. "So?" Orochimaru handed the mike to Tsunade. "You two ready?!" she screamed. The two girls

nodded. "Here's another surprise, the boys pick what you do!" said Jiraiya. The two girls shrieked. "These are your choices,

first, talents?" said Orochimaru. The boys shuttered to see Sakura's killer act again. They shook their heads. "Second, swim-

suit? Huh, huh? Please!!" Jiraiya was saying. The boys smiled at the thought. "Is there a third choice?" asked Sasuke. "Yes,

battle for immunity." said Ino. The boys cheered at that one, and started hollering, "Catfight, catfight, catfight!" Orochimaru

turned to the girls. "I'll say go."

The girls stood face to face. They both were thinking very different thoughts. Temari was thinking, _This challenge is in the bag_

_ for me. _And Sakura was thinking, _She might ruin my good dress!! _"On you mark, get set, fight!" yelled Orochimaru. Both girls

jumped back. Naruto and Lee were cheering for Sakura. Gaara was cheering for Temari. Sasuke was undecided. Temari

pulled out her giant fan and waved it at Sakura. Sakura's skirt blew up. Some guy in the back whistled. "Hey!! You're not

supposed to be here!!" yelled Orochimaru, chasing the guy out the door.

Sakura didn't have any kunai or shuriken on her. She ran in for a punch. Temari just blew her back. She yawned. Suddenly

something got Sakura's eye. Her tripwires were still here!! "Hey Temari!! You think you can hurt me? Why don't you just use

you stupid fan? If that all you can do?!" Sakura taunted. "Why you little-!!" Temari yelled, and rolled up her fan and rushed

toward Sakura. She hit the tripwire perfectly. Two logs were about to smash her head. Luckily, she ducked (why wouldn't

she do that?). Sakura saw the opportunity and rushed in and gave her an uppercut. Temari went flying and landed on her

back. Sakura was above her. Naruto and Lee cheered. Gaara slumped. "So Sasuke, who did you want to win?" asked Ino.

Sasuke shrugged. "Come on, who?" she asked again. He raised his arm and pointed at Sakura.

Suddenly his arm started shaking. It slowly started moving toward _Temari. _Everyone gasped. Ino grinned evilly. Sakura's

eyes welded up with tears. She backed off of Temari. "I forfeit." she said and ran out the door, crying. Naruto and Lee

slumped, while Gaara jumped up in joy. "Okay, that means Temari wins." said Tsunade. Temari was surprised at first, but

just grinned. Orochimaru walked into the building. "What'd I miss?" he asked. "Sakura forfeited." said Jiraiya. "How'd you

handle the stranger?" asked Tsunade. "You know, I didn't kill him or anything." said Orochimaru.

Later that day, Ino met up with Shikamaru. "Good job with the shadow possession on Sasuke." She said. "No problem. Glad

to help." He said coolly.

**I hope this chapter was a **_**little **_**better than the last! Day 6 coming right up!! R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

Day 6

Day 6

"Welcome…" started Orochimaru. The contestants stood there. Naruto started shivering due to Orochimaru's stare. "Your

 challenge today is a very gay one, chosen by a very gay person." said Orochimaru, looking at Jiraiya. "What?! It's not

that bad!! It's better than then the painting challenge! And don't call me gay!!" protested Jiraiya. "Woman, I call you

whatever I want!!" said Orochimaru. Tsunade smashed their heads into the table. "It's an eating contest. You will face

 three courses. Each made by a different judge." said Jiraiya, rubbing his head. "Speaking of judges, who's the fourth

judge?" asked Sasuke. "Oh yeah! He's an old favorite!!! Say hi to Neji!" said Orochimaru, excited. Neji ran in happily. The

 contestants groaned. "I liked him, he played dirty." said Orochimaru, with an evil grin.

"Your first course is made by Jiraiya." said Neji. Jiraiya happily placed the silver platters (with lids) in front of the

contestants, who each sat at a long table. "On my mark, you each take off the lids and chow down!!" said Jiraiya,

excited. "Oh yeah, if you are the first to not eat your food, you are immediately disqualified." said Orochimaru. Everyone

looked prepared. "Go!" yelled Tsunade. Everyone quickly removed their lids, but lost all of their confidence. "It's frog-ka-

bob!!" said Jiraiya. It was dead, raw frogs on a stick. Gaara barfed on Temari. "What the crap?!" yelled Temari. "Alliance."

 Gaara reminded. She groaned. Suddenly, the roof was ripped from the building to reveal Master Toad. "YOU FAG!!!!!" he

yelled and grabbed Jiraiya with his tongue. "AH!!" screamed Jiraiya, as Master Toad put the ceiling on the building, and

hopped away.

"Well, are you going to eat?" asked Orochimaru, completely undisturbed by Jiraiya's disappearance. All the contestants

 looked at each other, then at the meal. Naruto was the first to eat. He took the first bite. Everyone gasped. He started

 chewing. Then his eyes perked up. "Awesome!" he yelled, and started chowing down. Sasuke, Lee, and Temari followed

by slowly eating the raw frogs. Gaara got his sand to cover the frogs and ate it all in one bite. He shivered as the cold

sand rattled down his throat. "Wow, you survived… Jiraiya once had a barbecue and made us come," started

Orochimaru, "He served us the exact same thing, and I had to feed it to my dog to avoid Jiraiya to have a hissy fit. He

died the next day."

"Your next course was made by-." Tsunade was cut off by Orochimaru, "ME!!!" He passed out the covered silver platters.

 "Will you survive? Go!!" yelled Tsunade. The contestants hesitantly revealed an even grosser dish. "Grilled snake

tongues! An old family recipe!! With a hint of Cajun in it. I'm part Cajun you know, but just about 1/24th. But still, I'm part

 Cajun, so this should be a wonderful dish for all you Popeye lovers! I thought about putting it in bread, but-."

Orochimaru was interrupted (thank goodness) by the roof being ripped off again. It was Orochimaru's giant purple snake.

"SSSSSS!!!" (translation: YOU FREAKED MORON!!!) The snake grabbed Orochimaru with its tail and carried him away,

completely forgetting the roof.

Naruto was again the first to chow down. Sasuke, with his problem of other people doing things better than him,

 immediately started eating after Naruto. Lee was a little slow starting, but finally started. Temari was also slow eating,

when more grilled snake fell on her plate. "Gaara, what the heck is your freaked problem?!" yelled Temari. "Alliance." said

 Gaara, lying back in his chair. Temari rolled her eyes, and just ate his share of food.

"Again, you survived, but I don't know if you'll survive _my dish._" said Tsunade, grinning evilly. Everyone gasped. In the

woods far away, deer suddenly shuddered and ran in fear. "I gave my own mother 3 months of heartburn with this

dish." said Tsunade, passing out the dishes. "Go." Everyone slowly opened the lid. They gasped. "Slug eggs." said

Tsunade. Everyone heard a rumbling and saw Tsunade's pet slug. "Has someone been here?" asked the slug. "A while

back, Orochimaru-." Tsunade was interrupted by the slug taking her away (I don't know how she did it).

Naruto was actually slow this time. But he had a death stare with Sasuke, and they started chowing down. Temari

rejected Gaara and ate her own. Gaara and Lee were stuck. Lee was allergic to slugs, and Gaara was a lazy bum. Gaara

 was about to forfeit, until Lee said, "I can't." After several hours, the judges finally returned. Neji grinned at Lee's defeat.

 "Sorry, Lee. You're out." said Jiraiya, beat up. "But wait!! Give me a chance!!!!" yelled Lee, near tears. "Hey, hey, no." said Orochimaru. Lee left.

Later the judges were about to leave, when a man walked in. "Chef Ramses, what are you doing here?" asked

Orochimaru. "You all can't f***ed cook!! Come with me!!" he yelled. The judges grumbled as they followed the chef.

**Sorry it took a while! Day 7's up!!**


	7. Chapter 7

Day 7

"Welcome, final four!!" said Jiraiya, encouraging. The four contestants were not so hot. After those meals, it hurt just to look at food. "I bet your all real happy." said Orochimaru, eating a

turkey leg. All of the contestants held their mouths, while Gaara barfed on Temari (again). "Dude!!! STOP THAT!!!" screamed Temari. "Alliance." said Gaara, filing his nails. "I hope you don't

mind, but we invited an audience. Is that okay?" asked Orochimaru. The contestants shrugged. "All right, let them in!!!!" yelled Orochimaru. Suddenly the doors flew open, and a mirage of

people came crashing in, screaming. "Is that okay?" asked Orochimaru. Naruto fell over, fainted. "And we even got a new host, because the last ones…… are on vacation… YEAH! They're

on vacation." said Orochimaru, proud of himself. "Retard." said Jiraiya, rolling his eyes. "Woman, I am not a retard!! I am good, little, Christian soldier." said Orochimaru, putting his hand

on his heart. "Anyway…… your new judge is said to be pretty good. Here he is." said Tsunade. The contestants looked to their right to see Ryan Seacrest walking toward the middle of the

stage. "Hello!" started Ryan, "And welcome to an another exciting episode of American Idol!" The contestants looked at Orochimaru. "Oh yeah, he's under gen jutsu, to avoid any

confusion. If he calls you Simon, everything's fine." said Orochimaru, finishing off his turkey leg.

"Will someone wake up Naruto?" asked Sasuke, annoyed. Jiraiya dumped a bucket of water on Naruto. Naruto freaked out and got up. "Who, what!! Oh… I'm good." said Naruto, turning

around right into Ryan. "You're… you're…" stuttered Naruto. "I hate you too, Simon!" said Ryan. Naruto turned to the judges. "Why did he-?" started Naruto, confused. "Don't ask." said

Tsunade. "Who's our judge?" asked Temari. "I was getting to that," said Jiraiya, "Your judge is Shikamaru." Shikamaru walked up the judge's table and sat down to the audience's

clapping. Temari had her dreamy look on. She was imagining that he was shirtless, and dumping a glass of water on his crest (I don't get it either). No one had a problem with this judge.

"Okay, now that we all know each other, what's our challenge?" asked Sasuke. "Oh!!! This one's a good one!!!" said Orochimaru, clapping his hands. "Since we have two people from the

sand village and two people from the leaf village, we're gonna have a TAG TEAM BATTLE!!!" yelled Orochimaru, standing up and cheering. He got pelted with rocks. "EEP!!!" he yelled, and

hid under the table. The contestants were confused. "What Orochimaru is saying is you will be split up into two different groups. Whoever wins this _battle_, wins invincibility." said Jiraiya.

"All right, but what will be the teams?" asked Gaara. Tsunade smiled, "Sand vs. Leaf."

"You've got to be kidding me!!! I can't work with this emo!!" yelled Naruto, throwing a tantrum. "Hey…hey… no, I'm not an emo." said Sasuke. Everyone covered their mouths from

laughing. "Okay… *chuckle*… go to your corners." said Orochimaru. The four ninjas looked around. "What corners?" asked Temari. Jiraiya pulled a rope and another curtain opened. Behind

it, was a wrestling ring. "Like I said, go to your corners." said Orochimaru. The two leaf ninjas glared at each other and slowly made their way. The two sand ninjas were hyped up. "They

freaked hate each other!" Temari was saying, "We have this competition in the bag!" "Have fun fighting." said Gaara, looking at his nails. "What do you mean?!" said Temari. "You're doing

most of the fighting." said Gaara. "Whatever." said Temari, ticked.

"Hello leaf village!!!" yelled an announcer ninja. Suddenly, he fell over dead, with a kunai in his chest. Jiraiya and Tsunade looked at Orochimaru, who had his arm outstretched. "He was

too gay." said Orochimaru. "I know!!" Orochimaru ran out the door.

**5 hours later**

Tsunade yawned. Jiraiya was sleeping. Naruto and Sasuke were arm-wrestling. Gaara and Temari were strategizing. Orochimaru ran through the door and sat down. "Where have you

been?" asked Tsunade. "Introducing Sylvester Salon!!!" yelled Orochimaru. The famous boxer walked through the door. He went to the middle of the ring. The four ninjas stepped forward.

Sylvester punched Sasuke in the jaw. "What the hell!!" yelled Sasuke. "Oh yeah… Salon thinks he's in one of his movies. Just go along with it." said Orochimaru. "Eh… what's with the

emo?!" yelled Salon. The audience snickered. Sasuke kicked Salon off the ring. "Fag." said Sasuke, under his breath.

"Okay, who will be first from each team?" asked Jiraiya. Gaara pushed Temari forward. Sasuke pushed Naruto back. Temari and Naruto both muttered under their breath, "Pussy." "All

right, first round: Sasuke vs. Temari. Begin!!" yelled Tsunade. Temari and Sasuke both jumped back. Sasuke pulled out a kunai and Temari pulled out her giant fan. Sasuke threw the

kunai, but Temari just waved her fan, and the kunai went flying back. Sasuke rushed forward, caught the kunai, and kept going. He took a swipe at her, but only got her fan. "What the

heck?!" yelled Temari. She closed it up and smashed it down where Sasuke was standing. But Sasuke did a back hand spring and tagged Naruto's hand. "ALL RIGHT!!" yelled Naruto, and

jumped into the ring.

"Let's make this interesting!" yelled Orochimaru, and pulled a rope. The roof opened and logs tumbled out onto the ring. "What the-!!" yelled Naruto, but tripped over. "We kept some of

Sakura's traps! Isn't that great?!" yelled Orochimaru. "NO!!!" yelled Naruto and Temari. Naruto picked up a log and threw it at her. She easily dodged it. But when she looked up again,

Naruto was gone. Temari walked around the ring, filled with logs, warily. Suddenly, something grabbed Temari's leg. POOF! Naruto poofed out of his transformation of a log. "Got cha!"

Naruto swung her around and into the air. While in the air, she pulled out her fan. Then, she groaned at the rip in it. She looked back at the ground to see thousands of kunai flying

toward her. She tried to block them with her fan, but it just went right through it. She fell on the ground, motionless. She slowly started to rise, but Naruto was waiting for her. Suddenly,

Naruto was stunned. He didn't move, and then it gave a chance for Temari to get up. Sasuke looked around for a reason. Then he saw Shikamaru with his shadow possession jutsu

handsign.

"Phoenix Flower Jutsu!!!" yelled Sasuke, blowing flames at Naruto. It blew him out. "Naruto, out!! Winner, Temari!" yelled Jiraiya. Sasuke jumped in the ring. Temari was weak, so she

went over to tag Gaara, but he wasn't there. Suddenly, Sasuke punched Temari in the gut. She fell over. Suddenly, the doors to the front opened. Gaara stood there with a smoothie. "Did

we win?" asked Gaara.

"Temari, you're going home." said Jiraiya. The audience gasped. "Why?! Gaara left me!!!" yelled Temari. "He didn't do anything wrong, you lost the challenge." said Orochimaru, pointing to

the door, "Get!" Temari walked by Naruto and Sasuke. "Sorry, Temari." said Naruto, sympathetically. "Thanks." she said and kept walking. Gaara stood there, filing his nails. She kicked him

in the…… yeah… the place you don't want to get kicked. Gaara fell over, rolling on the ground. As Temari left, the audience clapped.

**That's Day 7!! Poor Temari, But wait for it, Day 8 is on it's way!!! Semi-Finals are on its way!!! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Day 8/ Semi-Finals**

"What's up, yall?" said Orochimaru, hip-hopish. The contestants were confused. "What the heck was that?!" asked Sasuke. "You know, what's

cracka-lacking?!" said Orochimaru. Now the judges were confused. "You know, I'm _representing._" said Orochimaru, with a *wink* *wink*,

*nudge* *nudge* to Jiraiya. "Seriously, what's with you?" asked Jiraiya. "Okay, okay, just quit nagging me, woman. First of all, I had a Noz (for

all you nobodies, that's an energy drink), so I'm sorta really hyper!! Look at my hands!!" said Orochimaru, showing his hands, which were VERY

shaky. "Second of all, I'm giving a hint of their next challenge." said Orochimaru. Jiraiya perked up and started laughing. "Oh, oh! I get it!

They're _representing_!" said Jiraiya. Orochimaru looked at him. "No. You don't do it right." "What the heck is our challenge!?!?!" yelled Naruto.

"It's not really a challenge, it's more like the audience's decision." said Tsunade. The contestants were still clueless. *sigh* "You're gonna be

asked questions, and at the end, the audience decides who's out." said Tsunade.

"So………………… who's up?" asked Orochimaru. Naruto was about to answer, until, "No, no, no, not yet. We have to have our introducer open

the show! Take it away, Ryan!" Ryan Seacrest slid onto the stage. "Hello America!" he said. "He means, Leaf village." said Orochimaru. "And

welcome to AMERICAN IDOL!!!" "He means, Leaf village talent show." "And let's introduce our judges! Simon, who I really hate!" Orochimaru

stood up. "I guess that's me!" Suddenly he got pelted with rocks, he hid under the table, and hissed. "Randy!" said Ryan. "I guess that's you."

said Jiraiya, pointing at Tsunade. She picked up a chair and brought it down on Jiraiya's head. "And Paula!" Tsunade waved her hand and went

back to beating the crap out of Jiraiya. "Now on today's show-!" he interrupted, because…… well…… he got shot. The audience gasped at the

dead Ryan. The judges looked at Orochimaru. "I didn't do it." he said. Suddenly, Simon Cowell steps out with a pistol with smoke coming out of

it. "Fag." He said, and pulled out a jar of oil, poured it on the dead Ryan, pulled out a cigarette, pulled out a lighter, smoked the cigarette, and

threw the cigarette on Ryan, who ignited into flames (Yay!). Suddenly, ninjas jumped on the stage. "You're under arrest!" the ninjas yelled.

"You'll never get me coppers!" Simon yelled, and used the escape jutsu.

"Okay………that was a whole bunch of nothing." said Orochimaru. "Anyway, who wants to go first?!" said Orochimaru, again. Naruto was about

to speak, until Orochimaru said, "Wait, wait, we have a surprise for you!" He pulled a rope, and a curtain opened. All of the previous

contestants were there. "Your former contestants!! They haven't really been doing anything, since they lost in complete humiliation." said

Orochimaru, laughing. He pulled the rope again, and the curtain closed. "What about our judge for the day?" asked Gaara, bored. "I'm glad you

asked! It's an old favorite!! Say hello to Neji…… again!" said Orochimaru. Neji walked in, and the audience boo-ed. "I don't get it!! No one likes

him!!" yelled Naruto. "I liked him," said Orochimaru, "And not many people like you either." Naruto shut up after that.

"Now onto your first contestant," started Orochimaru. Naruto waved his hand wildly. "Sasuke, how about you?" asked Orochimaru. He

shrugged and sat down in the comfortable chair that they provided. "Are you ready for your questions?" asked Jiraiya. "Sure, whatever." said

Sasuke, coolly. "Are you emo?" asked Orochimaru. "What?!" yelled Sasuke, standing. "SIT DOWN!!" yelled Orochimaru. "And answer the

question." said Tsunade. "I ain't emo." The audience burst out laughing. "Yeah, _right......_" said Jiraiya. "Next question, are you gay?" asked

Tsunade. "WHAT?!" screamed Sasuke. "You heard me." said Tsunade. "No, I am not!" yelled Sasuke. "Then, why don't you date one of the girls

who are obsessed with you?" asked Orochimaru. "Uh…" "Yeah, that's what I thought." said Orochimaru. "Next question, do you suck your

thumb, when no one's looking?" asked Jiraiya. "Uh… not usually." said Sasuke, messing with his hands. "Sasuke Uchiha, folks!!" said

Orochimaru. The audience clapped. He left the stage thinking, _That went well._

"Up next, Gaara!" said Jiraiya. Naruto slumped down and threw a fit. Gaara sat down in the chair. "First question, what are your goals in life?"

asked Orochimaru. Sasuke stood up. "What the crap?! Why wasn't I asked questions like that?!" he nagged. "Your turn is over." said

Orochimaru. Sasuke sat in his seat and started muttering to himself. "Now, continue." said Orochimaru. "I want to… uh… kill things." started

Gaara. Orochimaru clapped his hands. "YES!!" he yelled. "And…… I try to cut myself, but my sand won't let me." said Gaara. He pulled out a

kunai and tried to stab his hand, but the sand got in the way. The sand slapped him in the face and returned to the jar. Orochimaru sat and

sighed. "Um…… next question, if you could have anything, what would you have?" asked Tsunade. "Oh! I would have a whole bunch of guys-!"

started Gaara, but was cut off by Orochimaru, "Dude! No! We have young viewers watching! Sicko!" Gaara slumped in the chair. "Last question,

why do you file your nails?" asked Jiraiya. "You know, a guy's gonna look his best!" Gaara said, excitedly, "Just ask Neji! I saw him shaving his

legs once! (Sorry Neji fans)!" Everyone looked at Neji. He stood and left quietly. The judges started to chuckle. "Ok… ok… you can go." said

Tsunade, trying to stop laughing. No clapping for Gaara.

"Do we have anyone else?" asked Orochimaru. Naruto was hopping now. "Please! I'm right here!!" pleaded Naruto. "Just sit down, Naruto."

said Tsunade. He proudly sat down in the chair. "First question, what are your goals (as if we don't know)?" asked Tsunade. "To be Hokage!!

And get a girlfriend!" said Naruto. "Don't we all?" said Orochimaru. "Second question, if you could have anything, what would it be?" asked

Jiraiya. "World peace!" said Naruto, with the peace sign (did you know in Korea, that means 'victory'? There's a little bit of info for you). The

crowd applauded. "Final question of the night, when was your last shower?" asked Tsunade. "Ask Gaara, he'll know." said Sasuke. The crowd

went *ooo*. "What did you say, emo?!" yelled Naruto. "Actually, I do know. It was last week, Thursday to be exact." said Gaara. Naruto and

Sasuke backed away from Gaara, slowly.

"Now that we know each other's secrets," started Orochimaru, "We have a surprise, it's your parents!" A curtain opened, but nothing was

there. "What the-?" started Orochimaru. "All of their parents are dead." said Tsunade. "HAHAHA!! Sucks for you!!" said Orochimaru to the three

contestants. Tsunade socked him in the face. He kinda shut up after that. "Now we're gonna let the losers decide who's out." said Jiraiya. The

curtains opened to reveal the losers again. "GAARA!!" they yelled. The curtain closed again. Even Temari said it. "Alliance!" Gaara yelled. Temari

walked up to him and slapped him silly. "Fag!" she yelled and walked off. Two ninjas had to drag him off.

**There you have it!! Are you ready? Cuz I hope you are, because FINALS are next!!! Get ready for Day 9!!!! P.S. Sorry all you Gaara and Sasuke fans. **


	9. Chapter 9

Day 9/ THE FINALS

"Are you scared?" asked Orochimaru. The remaining two contestants, Naruto and Sasuke, raised their eyebrows. "Well you shouldn't be!

Because you're in the finals!!" yelled Orochimaru. The audience was as huge as ever. They applauded louder than ever. "Let's just hear our

challenge, so I can own this loser." said Sasuke, coolly. The crowd said, *ooo*. "What did you say, punk?! Say that to my face!" yelled Naruto.

"Bring it on." said Sasuke, stepping up to Naruto. "You two stop fightin-." started Tsunade, but Orochimaru said, "No, wait, I want to see the

violence." The two contestants pulled out their kunai. Jiraiya stood up and said, "That's enough!" The two contestants backed down. "Woman,

don't stop the action!" yelled Orochimaru. "No! No!!! I'm sick and tired of this!! You've called me a woman this entire contest!!" yelled Jiraiya,

standing up now. "Bring it on, woman!" yelled Orochimaru, standing also. Tsunade grabbed their collars and dragged them outside. Most of the

audience followed.

Tsunade dropped them on the ground. "What the-?" said Orochimaru and Jiraiya, confused. "You two want to fight it out like two little children,

go ahead." said Tsunade. She stepped back. Orochimaru and Jiraiya stood up in a fighting position. "I've been waiting twenty years for this!"

said Orochimaru. "No you haven't." said Jiraiya, confused. "Don't talk back to me woman!" replied Orochimaru. They stood in the middle of a

huge circle of people shouting, "Fight, fight, fight!" They stood there shaking their fists.

**10 hours later…**

The crowd got bored and went to buy smoothies. The two judges just stood there swinging their fists like little retards. Tsunade grabbed their

ears and dragged them into the building. "Let's get this final challenge started." said Tsunade. The audience came back quick, and with

smoothies. Sasuke and Naruto were playing Sudoku. "Now are you ready?" asked Tsunade. "Sure." they both said. "Your greatest talent." said

Jiraiya. They both went back to playing to Sudoku. "Hello?!" yelled Jiraiya. They looked at him. "Yes?" asked the contestants. "Aren't you

afraid?!" asked Jiraiya. "It's kinda gay." said the contestants. "Look, just go over this with your coaches." said Jiraiya. Kakashi and Iruka

stepped out. "How come we're never in any of the competition days?!" yelled the coaches. "Quit nagging me!" yelled Orochimaru.

Naruto and Iruka were eating ramen (what a surprise) planning out their strategy. "What is your best talent?" asked Iruka. "Shadow Clones."

replied Naruto. "Besides that!" yelled Iruka. "Well…… oh!! I can eat twenty bowls of ramen in under five minutes!" said Naruto, chugging down

bowls. "No! No! This will cost me money!!" yelled Iruka, slapping him in the back of the head. "Ow! Whatever! What do you think I should do?"

asked Naruto. "Haven't you learned anything from some old pervert who can summon frogs or something?" asked Iruka. "Hmm…… Wait!!!"

yelled Naruto. He did a lot of handsigns, bit his finger, and thrust his hand to the ground. "SUMMONING JUTSU!!!" yelled Naruto (why do ninjas

do that? They always yell out what they're making. Why don't the ninjas go to the bathroom and yell, 'HUMOUGOUS CRAP!!!" I'll never

understand.). Anyways, a little tadpole appeared. "I'll just stick with the rasengan." On the other side, Sasuke and Kakashi were also

strategizing. "I just stand there and look pretty." said Sasuke. "Chidori." said Kakashi. "Fine."

"Welcome back, contestants." said Orochimaru, bored. The contestants stood there, confidently. "You all ready?" asked Tsunade. The

contestants nodded. "Do rock, paper, scissors to decide who goes first." said Jiraiya. They started. They both had rock. They did it again. Paper.

Again. Scissors.

3 hours later…

Paper. Again. Scissors. "GOSH DANG IT!! DO YOUR TALENTS TOGETHER!!!" yelled Orochimaru. The contestants shrugged. They went to the

opposite sides. "And…………… BEGIN!!" yelled Jiraiya. Immediately, a clone of Naruto appeared. It started charging chakra in Naruto's hand.

Sasuke did some hand signs, and lightning started to form in his hand. The clone charged it even bigger. Sasuke just… well… made his bigger.

It went like this for a while. Naruto's was so big, that he had to make a whole bunch of clones, which had to bounce off of the rasengan to

make it bigger. Sasuke's was so big that lightning was flashing off everywhere in random places. "This is actually kinda entertaining." said

Orochimaru. Suddenly, a lightning bolt zapped Orochimaru in the privates. Then he made a sound similar to a dying cow and fell over. Jiraiya

started snickering, until a Naruto clone bounced right into him. Tsunade rolled her eyes. Right when we didn't know who would win, Kiba jumps

in the middle of everything.

"Hey guys! I've improved my act!!" said Kiba. "Kiba, the competition about to be over!" said Orochimaru, recovering. "Yeah, I know! But this act

will make me win automatically! Instead of Akumaru jumping through a ring, he's jumping through one on fire!" said Kiba, holding a flaming ring.

Akumaru looked worried and started whimpering. "Woman, you will jump through this ring!" yelled Kiba. "Hey, hey, no. Don't take my sayings."

said Orochimaru, ticked. Akumaru jumped through the ring, immediately catching on fire. "Akumaru, no!!" yelled Kiba. The dog had turned to

ashes, which Kiba picked up, sniffed, and put in a jar. By then, the two jutsus were as big as…… the building. They yelled out their jutsus,

"RASENGAN!" "CHIDORI!!", and collided it right into Kiba, who they didn't see (or did they?).

The entire building was demolished. The crowd slowly rose from the ashes, and went home, muttering about how much the competition sucked.

The contestants were knocked, and sent to a hospital, where they later had a fight on the rooftop. The judges were sitting in the ashes. "This

happens every freaked year!!" yelled Orochimaru. "So…" said Tsunade. "Why do we do this?!" yelled Orochimaru. "It's required by the civilians."

said Tsunade. "What do we do now?" asked Orochimaru. "Let's get some ramen." said Jiraiya. The two other judges reluctantly came. "After

that, you wanna play some strip poker, Tsunade?" asked Jiraiya. "Hahahaha!" said Orochimaru. Tsunade shuttered at what happened _last _time

she played that with them. She socked them both in the face, called them 'perves', and kept walking to the ramen shop.

**That's it! Be on the look out for my future competition fanfics! Take care! Strati65 P.S. I got most of the phases that Orochimaru says from my friend, xXxAnthonyxXx. He's really PO-ed at me, so……… now you know!! C ya! **


	10. Chapter 10

_**Well I might as well tell you why I added an extra chapter AFTER the story is over. See, you know how they always have a reunion after losing the competition and talk about how much they sucked during it and what a waste of time the whole thing was. Yeah… that's what's happening… Look, you don't have to read it, but I suggest you read it. Or I'll find you… Heh, I just kidding……… Nah, but serious, I'll find you.**_

Reunion

"HELLO, HIDDEN LEAF VILLAGE!!!" starts off Ryan Seacrest, "And welcome to a special episode of Leaf Vilage Talent Show!! See, we're gonna

show you what our former contestants have been doing all this time!!!" All the contestants were sitting around separate tables, usually by squad.

Except for Lee and Hinata, because they were all alone. "And we have our judges from last competition, Simo-!" He was cut off by several kunai in

his back. "Why was he alive?" asked Orochimaru. "Anyway… we have Orochimaru, me, and Jiraiya." said Tsunade. "Why did we even do this?"

asked Jiraiya, very rudely. "Every great show has a reunion!!" said Tsunade. No one really followed her enthusiasm. "Okay, let's just get this over

with…" sighed Tsunade.

"We'll start with the first and biggest loser, Hinata!!" said Orochimaru. Everyone boo-ed at his remark. Hinata slowly went up to the stage, sat on

the chair next to the judges, and sighed. "So, Hinata, why did you suck so bad?" asked Orochimaru. Everyone threw cans at him. "Well… not

that… I-I'm… not… p-pointing…-." "SPIT IT OUT ALRIGHTY!!" yelled Jiraiya. Everyone started throwing whatever-they-had-in-their-pockets at him.

"Uh……… THIS IS ALL NEJI'S FAULT!!!!" she screamed, suddenly. Everyone was pretty surprised. Then, Neji burst through the doors. "Did someone

say my name?" he said. Suddenly, several kunai were implanted in his chest. "HELL YEAH!!! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW F***ED LONG I'VE WAITED TO

F***ED DO THAT!!!!!" she screamed. Neji dabbed his finger on his own blood, and licked it. Then, he ran out the door. Hinata was still drunk on

revenge. She ran up to Naruto and started making out with him. The girls mostly cheered her on. The guys were still shocked about Hinata's new

attitude. People were starting to think about asking her out. But then, a Black Ops team came in and stuck her with a needle, and dragged her

off. Naruto was confused, but he just pretended the whole didn't happen.

"Everyone, don't worry, Hinata will lose her memory of ever doing that, and will act the same as always." said Tsunade. The guys sighed. "Up

next, we have Kenkuro!!" No applause. Kenkuro walked up to the stage. "So why did you just give up?" asked Tsunade. He shrugged. "I had

better things to do, and the whole thing was entirely gay." The other former contestants nodded in agreement. "Besides the challenge was

extremely gay!!" Kenkuro yelled. Orochimaru and Tsunade slowly turned toward Jiraiya. "SHUT UP!" yelled Jiraiya. "All right, you can leave now."

said Orochimaru. "But I don't want to. I fell important up here!" said Kenkuro, making himself comfortable. "Seriously, get out." Orochimaru said,

seriously. Kenkuro ran off out the door.

"All right, our next loser is Sakura!!" said Jiraiya. Naruto and Lee stood up and wooted her on. No one else did anything. She sat down in the

chair. "Hello, Sakura. Did you think you were going to win that fight?" asked Tsunade. "Well, I did, until-…" She looked at Sasuke who was cutting

his toenails. "SASUKE DIDN'T VOTE FOR ME!!!! WHY??!!" she screamed. Sasuke looked up and shrugged. "Well Sakura, we can tell you why

Sasuke didn't choose you." said Tsunade, coolly. Sakura suddenly perked up. "You know how we had a live camera going? Well we caught this."

she said, and turned on a TV. It showed Tsunade in a Victoria Secret swimsuit posing. Tsunade kinda screamed, Jiraiya was soaking it up,

Orochimaru was also soaking it up, the guys were too, except Kenkuro, who said, "Do you all know how old she?!" No one paid attention.

Tsunade changed it, rolling her eyes. It showed Shikamaru and Ino smoking cigarettes. "Hey, thanks again for possessing Sasuke. Sakura got

what was coming for her." Ino said. "No problem, baby." said Shikamaru, and they started making out. Sakura's and Temari's eyes flared up.

They were both thinking about killing Ino. Suddenly, Sakura calmed down and turned toward Sasuke. "So you were going to vote for me?" she

asked, hopefully. "Hell no." he said, coolly. She ran out the door crying.

"Okay…" started Tsunade, but stopped because of the drooling Jiraiya and Orochimaru. "Well… up next, we have Rock Lee!" Lee did a bunch of

flips and cartwheels that a cheerleader would do up to the stage. "So Lee-." "I SHOULD HAVE WON THAT ENTIRE THING!!! I SHOULD HAVE! I

SHOULD HAVE! I SHOULD HAVE! I SHOULD HAVE!" screamed Lee, out of nowhere. Guy Sensai came out of nowhere and screamed out, "IT'S

ALRIGHT, LEE!! YOU'RE A WINNER TO ME!!!!" His eye twinkled. Lee did a triple frontflip. "I'm gonna go and do 3000 push-ups!!" He ran out the

door.

"We have some crazies in the house…" Orochimaru whispered to Jiraiya, who giggled like a 6th grader. "Up next, we have Temari!" said Tsunade.

Temari walked up to the stage. "So how does it feel to get to the final four?" asked Tsunade. "I should have freakin won!!" yelled Temari. "Here

we go again…" said Orochimaru. "I seriously should have won!!" she yelled, "It's all Gaara's fault!!!" The contestants nodded in agreement. Gaara

was over there using his pocket comb to brush his hair. "Excuses." said Jiraiya, "Gaara, since you're up next, how about you come up here?" He

gulped and walked up there. There was only one chair, so they brought up a highchair, Gaara-sized. He reluctantly sat in it. "Gaara, did you

abandon your teammate?" asked Jiraiya. "Yep. Can I go now?" Temari tackled him. She started beating the crap out of him. "You can't hurt me, I

have a shield!" he said. She ripped off his face (which was part of his sand shied thing) and started ramming her fist into his REAL face. "Stop

hitting me!!" squealed Gaara, like a 7th grade nerd being beat up by a muscular senior. Secretary ran in, dragged them off, and threw them

outside. You could still hear Gaara screaming like he was in "Saw 6".

The only people left were Naruto and Sasuke (what a surprise). "How about you both come up here." said Tsunade. They both walked up to the

stage. Sasuke picked up Naruto and stuck him into the highchair. "Hey, what the crap?!" Naruto yelled. "Just putting you where you belong."

smirked Sasuke. "Why you little-!" yelled Naruto. He jumped out the highchair, and started charging his rasengan. Sasuke charged his chidori.

"Um… guys… we didn't ask anything yet." said Jiraiya, quietly. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Kakashi came out of nowhere, grabbed Naruto and

Sasuke, and flung them at the judges. For some reason, they missed Tsunade, and they hit Orochimaru and Jiraiya, who went 'eep!'. Tsunade,

unharmed, sighed. She got up and walked away. "Next year's just going to be just as worse." she said to herself.

**That's the reunion!!! Get ready for next year! Srry this all took a while, I mean A WHILE. Like I said, get ready for next year!!!! C ya!**


End file.
